Yellow Zinna's and Comforting Lies
by underhandedlyFunctional
Summary: That day was the day I cut half of my math exam. That day was the day I refused to stop crying for weeks. That day was the day I lost my twin. And I missed him. I missed him so fucking much. I let out a long sob when they told us the heart monitor started up again.


It happened June 18th, 2009. The date is still, and always will be, so fresh in my mind. That was four days after our birthday. The day he went out but didn't come back. It was the day that changed all of our lives..

_It was also the day of my math exam._

I had barely planned to study the night before- but Psii, being the loving Guardian he is, insisted to the point of threatening to take every electronic I had on me if I didn't at least look over the damn notes. So, after flipping him off, I traversed back to the comforting darkness of my lair to look over my notes once more before the damn test the following afternoon. A call from KK informed me the crab-cake was freaking out, and I couldn't help but just tease the living shit out of short stuff. He of course resented me for it- for a total of five minutes, before we were back to discussing plans on what to do after the shitty exam, all plans for studying completely blown off by then.

Me and Mituna were sixteen for about three days then, and we had to admit we were both pretty fucking proud of being able to actually stand this planet for that long.

The morning of the 18th came up faster than I had liked. After looking through my notes I blew off the entire studying shtick and settled for an old PS1 game. Final Fantasy was still pretty fucking sweet.

I woke up to my brother curled up next to me on the bottom bunk (that I had to claim begrudgingly because he had stolen the top one before I was even in the room then). But the fact he was next to me was.. odd. It never usually happens. No, it only ever did when he had some sort of nightmare. And those came less to none after the age of six for the both of us.. Shaking him lightly awake- attempting to, anyway, I ask him in a hushed voice if he's alright, if he wanted to talk, when did he wind up here- anything. A lot sooner than later, his head whipped up quickly, jolting himself awake and fixing me with a stare. We laid like that for several moments, lost in each other's linked mind. Our similar working brain. Our exact same heterochromia-cursed iris'. My heart beat picked up from seventy beats a minute from first seeing him curled up next to me, to about one hundred and seventy, no doubt.

If I strained any more than I was, I swear I could hear his identical heartbeat. Beating.. Beating away with mine. Just for a moment it was like that, before he broke the stare. And the silence. "I had a dream. Sollux, I don't.. _have_ dreams. I had this dream and it seriously tripped me up, dude. Everyone was asleep, and I..." I had to shoosh him, silently urging him to get to the point as I made myself comfortable on my side. Facing him, ready to listen to the entire thing.

* * *

_That day was still the day of my math exam. _

I left the washroom, freshly showered, and strut my fresh, clothed ass into the kitchen to check on the time. The clock read twelve thirty, and I had a small, blood thirsty crab demon who was ready to skin me alive if I delayed his father's pick up in twenty minutes. Mituna and my dad were in the kitchen to greet me. Mituna with his usual fist bump greeting followed by a large grin, every single braced-tooth gleaming below a strawberry-blond mess. Freckles faintly showing on his covered-up cheeks.. Damn, he needed to get that hair cut. Though I had to admit, he looked far better than he had this morning.

Our dad, Psiionic, was the next to greet me, making sure I remembered the exact time Karkat would be over to pick me up before offering me packet of blueberry poptarts. The last thing he needed on a Monday morning was the infamous high-pitched Vantas' squeal to deafen us all. After shoving a poptart in my mouth while making small talk with Psii, Mituna broke the silence abruptly with a strange scream slash squeal... thing. Jesus, he could be such a child.

He was grinning again behind mop-bangs, looking down at his phone excitedly as he texted at a near-lightening speed. "Kurloz and me are gonna go boarding in the school yard- I'm totally gonna show off the shit I showed Latula yesterday!" Mituna shot up from his seat to the pantry, raiding it for the last poptart in the whole box of eighteen.

"That's nice." I reply absentmindedly, tapping away at my own phone when a car horn interrupted my thoughts. I spun around, and there indeed stood a bright red car in our driveway. Scooping up my backpack, I turned to my family to give them a short wave. "Wish me luck, I'll be back later today, gonna hang with KK after the test." Mituna spun around, rushing over to me with another smile. This time, he had pulled me into a hug, which I quickly tensed into. With a groan I hugged back rigidly. He knew I wasn't the affectionate kind, too, so it just made things worse. Shit head.. When he pulled back, he gave me a light punch to the shoulder, his smile widening to show off shining, red an blue coloured braces.

"Good luck. Kick their mathematical asses."

I grinned, his lisp just so endearing to me as I gave him a quick salute. "No problem there, 'Tuna."

You know that feeling you get, deep in your chest as it slowly, slowly drags down to your gut- that weight that keeps you down- the one that only appears when you have the most dreadful feeling in the depths of your mind that you fucked up? I had that feeling. It hit me right in the fucking throat and dragged it's way down as soon as I left that house. When I left Mituna.

* * *

_It happened.. the day of my math exam. _

The drive to school was eventful- Karkat and his ongoing bitching on multiple, seemingly unimportant things I paid little attention to. Then more related topics, that math was fucking ridiculous and he was grateful he had one more fucking year of it or he swore he'd have himself curl up into a ball and roll down into the deepest ditch and call it his new home. And as always, Karkat capitalized the D and Q, in the words Drama Queen.

His dad was quick to stop in front of the school, urging us both out of the car. He called out a "Good luck boys!" to the both of us, before driving off after our final thank you's exchanged. The room was reached quickly. This was the moment Karkat was dreading, mostly because this exam was where he would be judged worthy of passing this course or not. But no, not me. The shit was going to be a breeze. I'd ace it. No troubles, no worries, and we'd all go home with a happy report card. My 98 standing tall amongst all my other marks.

...If happy endings existed, they sure as hell did their best to avoid my life. Tried to curse it is more like it. For me, doom and negativity became the constant aspect of my days and thoughts. All that followed the events during and _after _that fucking exam.

For 'Tuna, All his happiness came in the form of a yellow Zinna.

_'They were beautiful... they lined up all along our dead backyard. I haven't seen shit grow back there, let alone a bunch of flowers, dude. They were pretty, and yellow.. Yellow's our favourite colour.'_

_'You think it could mean something? I wonder..'_

_..It never fucking changed... it still happened the day of my math exam. _

And there I sat, breezing through this shit calculatorless like it was my job. Trigonometry, Point of Intersection- his buddies, graphing, substitution, elimination.. and my buddy, good old fractions. Plug ins and formula's were the only thing that were wracking my brain from the first minute of the start time of one o clock. It must've been half way into the exam, because I was completely lost in the seducing power of numbers. Half way done and I was acting like a complete zombie to this stupid package of papers.

That's probably apart of the reason I nearly jumped from my seat when I received an urgent tap on my shoulder. It was.. strange, at first. One of the staff, from the office. That sense of dread I had when I left the house.. it was back. The look.. the look she gave me made my heart drop.

That feeling. The dead weight.

My heart shouldn't have been pounding so hard, but I was startled. I already felt anxiety fill me quickly. The weight felt as if it could just keep me in place on that stupid chair.

When she spoke. It was quick, and the sentence had my heart just... Stop. Beating..

"Collect your things, Captor- you've been called out from this exam for an emergency- It's your _brother_."

_'More of those flowers appeared.. Red ones, and magenta, in the field of blue.. Shit, you know those rumours where if we sleep close enough to each other, we can be in each other's dreams? We should try it out, it's a lot more awesome seeing it than me and my shitty explaining skills, bro!' _

_That day was the day I cut half of my math exam. _

_That day was the day I refused to stop crying for weeks._

_That day was the day I lost my twin. And I missed him. _

_'I grew them for you! They're our colour, see?"_

I let out a long sob when they told us the heart monitor started up again.


End file.
